Recovery

I was telling my friend the other day...I wake up angry. Bitter. Frustrated. I stay angry all day. I see the sun, feel the heat and watch an uninjured self knock off mile after mile, slice & rip through tight single track under the bare branch spring canopy. 2 out 3 isn't good enough.
Physical therapy went well, hopeful. Today at least it felt like I was on the actual road of recovery instead sitting on the sideline just waiting for something to happen. This is a test of endurance and will power. I am unable to move functionally, meaning I can not move AND carry something from one place to another. I can move items. More importantly I can not pedal a bike as the up pedal stroke is strictly forbidden and not lickley to happen for another 4-8 months. I still can't believe it BUT I am at the start of the road.
I fear I may have permanent injury as a result. I know eventually I will get on the bike again & "ride' again. Ride like a freakin fat ass couch potato out for the first time on a bike. C'mon! I am used to rockin' out 25-50 miles a clip. Flying in and out of single track, jumpin logs, riding through technical rock gardens. C'mon this can't be happening...the 2009 season is gone. FUCK.