State Of The Racer

Ok...I'm injured. I've finally come to terms with it. I had severed 2 major tendons in my right leg, gashed at the sock line (cycling sock). I had walked up the front steps of friends house and my feet slipped out from under me.
I had just returned from a 25 mile road ride, the Hammer Loop ( Route 3 to 165 to 138) and decided to drop off a DVD I had burned for a family friend. I was still in my cycling kit, although I changed into sandal when I drove over. It was suppose to be a qucik drop & go. Not so much.
As I went up the stairs I felt my feet slip out. I saw the front door, the grey sky, and then the wet soft spring grass as it had been showering that day. Immediately I knew I had fallen. OK. Get up. Get up. Wow this is weird, I couldn't, I couldn't get up on my own. My right leg felt unresponsive almost numb.
I thought it strange and disturbing. I must've really bruised it I thought. I looked down. No blood just throbbing, instense unending throbbing. No blood? No cut? Then I looked closer at my now dirty white Verge cycling sock. Just below the sock line I saw it. It looked bad. I almost felt sick. I knew it was deep but was a little confused by the small amount of blood.
I called out to my friend to help me home and from there I got to the emergency room. I had missed the artery by 2mm. It was close and it was bad. The wound was cleaned and stitched and I was scheduled for surgey on 1 April. Great, April Fools day that was confidence inspiring.
Fortunately I was in the care of a very reputable surgeon, Dr Gross of Westerly. After the surgery he told me it was a complicated surgery as he had to make additional incision above & below the injury just so he could find what remained of my tendons and reattche them. I probably about 60 stitches overall.
Thus begins the recovery. I can tell you this: IT SUCKS. Inability to move freely. Inability to RIDE. Inability to RACE. Oh I know I'll recover...eventually. Its the evetually part that concerns me. The '09 season seems to be a loss but we'll see.
I hope to at least be able to race Mt Snow this year but...I don't know.
I've already missed King Of Burlingame and The Root 66-Bunny Hopbrook. I've been doped up on pain meds where the emotional impact truly hasn't hit me about missing the races and riding/training in general.
I know I have many, many things to be thankful and gratefull for and the big picture everything will be ok but cycling, cycling is most impacted which in no way diminishes the importance of the other things in my life I am thankful for. I don't mention those things here because...ummm I'm really a private person on public site. (really makes you wonder about people that disclose personal intimate things in public...whatever).
Sooo for the time being, I'll be a spectator or race support for our race team: Refunds Now/Casters Bicycle (http://www.iwantarefund.com/ , http://bikeri.com/). Let the healing continue.